Don't deserve your love
by xredSunburstx
Summary: Short prompt after 5x04, when Gail seeks out Holly after a horrible day at work to make things right. Gail/Holly, all the way.


_This is a short promt and it starts just a bit after the episode 4 in season 5. _

_Gail decides that she needs to see Holly after everything that happened with Sophie, because... life is short..._

So she sat there, one evening, when the other woman came home from work. She sat there on the steps of the building for almost two hours. Something she would never admit, because she didn't want to sound or look desperate, which she actually was.

The other woman recognised her, immediately, knowing every part of her porcelain skin and being partly responsible for that platin blond and short hair. She would never admit, that in fact, she could feel her presence, long before she even saw her... or maybe it was just the longing, she had the past days, for the younger woman to be there.

Holly wanted to say something to Gail, starting with "I'm sorry", ending with "I'm in love with you", and with thousand other words in the middle.

But she was afraid of saying something, too much maybe, afraid that Gail might take off. She was careful with her words, like being careful when you want to pet a straying cat, not taking a step too far, because you don't want to scare it off. Wait for it to come to you.

So she waited, the only word she said was her name in a soft and reassuring tone, with a hint of fear in it.

Gail stood up, straightening her jacket, not sure if taking a step for - or backward. She wasn't even sure if it was the right thing to come or if she imploded. Did Holly want her here or had she destroyed everything by waking away? She tried not too worry too much, instead she looked deeply into Holly's eyes, and she started to talk. No actually she started to ramble, something she never does, but this... the thing between Holly and her feels like it's far too important to not ramble.

"Life is short, Hollly... with the jobs we have we know thats the truth. I mean... you could get hurt by a bullet through a vending machine every day!" Holly frowns, but Gail decides that this is a story for another time.

"And I am done being mad and angry and snarky, at least with you." At this she smiles a bit, seeing the part of Gail she strangely adores. "I've been so hurt by what you said and what you weren't saying, that i reacted badly... i know that now... a part of me is still hurt, but... i realized that you couldn't mean it like that. No one would be with me just for fun. I am not a "just for fun" person to be with. I am complicated and a hot mess. I am a riddle on two snarky legs. You were there for me when I needed you, you didn't run away during my meltdown. You stayed, you helped me through it and at the end of the night you made it to the best moments I ever had, because you were there and you helped me to get better... to be better... nothing between us has only been easy and fun, but you are also so easy and comfortable to be with... easier than anything I ever experienced, even if it's the hardest I ever had to do, allowing myself to feel this good with you. But in that moment, back at the bar, I didn't see you in front of me, but all my failed relationship and every hurtful word people said to me... I should have let you explain and talked to you, because you are not any of them... you are so much better and so much more to me... you could wreck me, you could be my undoing... but I choose to stay, Holly… I choose to stay"

She recognized the single tear running down her cheek, when it was too late to stop it. But strangely she didn't mind for Holly to see her weak side... or maybe she had to overthink that... maybe showing weakness actually was a sign for the strength she didn't think she had.

"You know there is a saying... when a person doesn't deserve your love, they need it the most... and maybe i don't deserve your love, but I need it. I need you right now and I can't think of a moment when in which I'll not need you."

Holly's worried, compassionat and loving eyes tore through the smaller woman as if she tried to convey all the things that were on her mind with one single look.

She took a step ahead and walked even futher, until she invaded Gail's personal space. Her hand touched Gail's cheek, tracing the path of the single droplet. "You deserve more than you think." She whispered before she softly, but persistent, took Gail's hand and led her inside.


End file.
